November, New Moon in Scorpio

Can you keep a secret?  I can’t.  And I’m worried that, one of these days, my need to share my deepest secrets will destroy me.

Every prophecy, every prediction, every last forecast my clairvoyant friend Leo has uttered about my future…all of it is coming true.  And as I sit here waiting for my houseguest to get out of the shower, I am dying to tell her—to tell someone!—but I don’t dare. 

My purpose in life is to share what I learn, and so keeping such incredible knowledge to myself is terribly hard and seems to rub against my grain.  The things I’ve learned in the past four weeks simply must be shared—how presumably any two people can blend their energies, form a telepathic connection, actually feel each other’s emotions of love, fear, and hope for each other?  Wow!

Has this ever been done before?  And if so, why don’t we all know about it?  I guess other people are better at keeping that secret.

This thing we’ve discovered is amazing, and I want to tell the world what Jesse and I have discovered, not to mention that we’ve discovered each other.

Then there’s the other part of the secret, what I cannot tell anyone quite yet, even my best friends. I am in love.  Hopelessly, deeply, incredibly in love, and intensely happy.  All the crap I put up with in my marriage, the nasty divorce—everything has been worth it to get to this point, to this relationship.   I feel as if I’m standing on the edge of the Universe and walking into pure light, pure joy.  It’s more than just the freedom of leaving behind an abusive marriage and starting my life over.  I’ve left the darkness behind, as has he, and together we are moving into a bright future, sharing our journey.

Yes!  I’m incredibly happy!  I can hardly stop smiling, but it feels wonderful to be in love again and to feel that love returned. I keep waiting for something to go wrong—that’s how it used to be for me: that if something good happened, it didn’t last for long, and I’d come to expect it.  But expectations can change and I went from expecting somewhere between nothing and awful to expecting an incredible love to come into my life.

Near the end of my marriage, when my feelings about men and romance were gloomiest, Leo had forecasted my future love life with his Tarot cards, right down to the exact verbiage the man would use so I’d know who he was and who he was to me.  I’d escaped a bad marriage feeling amazingly shiny and knowing for certain that this wonderful new man was coming into my life—and though I  had expected for months that he would show up in my life, he appeared when I least expected.  Now I’m deliriously happy for the first time in years and I don’t want to hear anything bad or negative or how I shouldn’t be dating again so soon after my divorce, and so for now, just for now, this relationship is a secret to everyone and no one knows about this empathic connection we’ve made or how we did it or how easily anyone else can do it, too.